Well, I've offically had it. I had my first mother's meet-up this past weekend and I had a really good time...until I looked at the pictures!
OMG!
HEIFER!
Seriously, something must be done! I am openly recruiting any nazi's who would like to call me/email me/text me, reminding me to put the food down! Oh--and they must be relentless in their pursuit!
I made a bet with Ken that I could lose weight by Christmas. 15-20lbs to be exact.
If I win, I get a month's worth of babysitting out of him. YES! I can go out and pretend that I am childless for a couple of hours at a time. :-
If he wins, he gets 4 weekends of going out with his coworkers to watch UFC crap while I stay with the baby. I like UFC but I'm not sure about the coworkers. :-/
I am certain that he will try to sabotage me.
That's right Ken. I said it. You will try to sabotage me.
I'm. Watching. You.
I am slowly making progress.
s-l-o-w-l-y.
Thankfully, the person I can't stand wasn't at the wedding I had to go to last weekend. I actually didn't look too bad...
I'm still fat. Yes, I had lost 5 lbs but that's it. Wtf? I can't lose weight to save my life!
At this point, I feel like I am going to have to go on a starvation diet just to lose a f***ing pound!
GAAAAaaaaaaaaahh
I ate like a champ (or some king of rodent).
Berries, nuts & seeds, salads, soup, water...
I'm still hungry. Verrrry Hungry!
It's time to get serious. I mean, it's literally 2 months away --the wedding I have to go to-- and I have only lost like 5lbs. I have to get my ass in gear.
Sometimes, I think that I sabotage myself (although not on purpose) because maybe I'm afraid...afraid that being hot could be a reality (and a very close one) if I just accepted it & worked at it. Being hot (or even relatively close) is scary when you haven't been that for a long time. For example, when I was in high school, I was very thin (but still had my big boobs) and long blonde hair. I guess you could say I was hot...and I remember how that felt! It was awful sometimes! Sure, all the boys wanted to sleep with me and people always talked about how cute I was, but I never had any girl friends. They all hated me. And then, as I got older (and a little bigger each year), I noticed that I started making friends with girls. I liked that. I started to feel good about myself. So, I started to do more things again and began getting back to my high school weight. Wouldn't you know it! All the girl "friends" that I had managed to make started to flake out on me...dump me...reverting to pettiness and creating reasons not to hang out with me anymore. It hurt. And I'm afraid that the same thing will happen again. I guess that's the real reason I haven't tried hard enough.
I think that there is the pecking order with women. There are always roles to be played: the smart one, the pretty one, the fat one, the funny one, the bad girl, the goody-2-shoes, etc... Sometimes they overlap. Everything is copacetic as long as everyone plays their part. Step out of your role and WATCH OUT!
It just sucks that that is even a reality. Can you avoid it? I don't think so, not with the way women are so fucking catty and vindictive.
Anyway, it's time to get serious. I can't worry about which girlfriend will dump me or start treating me differently when my physical appearance changes. If they are real, they will continue to like me for me. If they are secure in themselves, (which ironically is the whole fucking problem with the way women act [think about how many times you've looked at a girl who was way cuter than you and you said something nasty about her w/out even knowing the person]), then they will have no problems with me doing this.
So, let it begin...
So I was shopping with
today and we stopped in at Victoria's Secret. I had the gal measure me.Our new life begins with me on firsts and Ken on seconds.
One problem ends and a new one begins.
Yeah, I no longer need to worry about childcare, but now I cannot work out at the gym. So I am paying for a membership that I cannot use. How is this going to make me any thinner!?
Not to mention that today when I got home from work, I was completely exhausted. I was so tired that I layed down with Connor and took a 2 1/2 hour nap. Oh--and that was after I had a giant piece of lemon cake. Did I say I had 2 Zingers at work? Cause I didn't.
I am happy to report a 3.5 lb weight loss.
Shut up. At least I didn't gain it.
I thought I should have included this picture of me on my trip.
Believe me---I do not enjoy posting this. I'm sickened by this.
Here's the question of the moment: Can anyone tell me how they stopped the bad habits they started (with food) while they were pregnant?
Ken, Connor, and myself are back from our trip to New York. I won't bore you with redundant details of the trip, since if you are reading this, you actually know me and have read my "real"blogs (you know, the ones where I have a life and I don't bitch about being 2 tons of fun).
Anyway, this past Saturday alone we walked for approximately 10-12 hours straight and only stopped to eat and feed/change Connor. I ate like shit but I am sure that I burned A LOT of calories so it balanced itself out. On Sunday, we walked approximately 5 hours straight so that too made up for my poor eating choices. All in all, I think that if nothing else, I have broken even. Although, I wish I'd see a loss. :-/
I WILL NOT weigh myself today. I will wait until I am not sore and swollen and....thinner. LOL
OK.
I gained 2lbs over the weekend. That's ridiculous! I did have 2 days filled with a free-for-all style of food due to my birthday and my friend's graduation. But two pounds!? Geesh!
I'm posting a better "before" picture. Hey--at least it's my full body and it was just this past Saturday. Please don't vomit (God knows I wanted to when I looked at it!).
I'm the one in the black shirt.
Yeah. Blow me, Weigh-In.
170lbs
We are going to the grocery store today. Thank God! It hasn't been easy eating healthy when we have no real food! Plus, I have a fat old lady who lives with me who, though despite being diabetic, feels the need to buy cake, donuts, cookies, and candy EVERY WEEK, so I'm tempted. Although, many times she's eaten it all before anyone's had the chance, but the junk is still available.
Oh--and I guess me not getting off of my fat ass this week hasn't helped.
I really have to get it together. Our friends are getting married in Sept. and I REFUSE to be this weight then. Plus, there may be a guest attending that I HATE that do not want seeing me this way. The best revenge for me would be to look fabulous.
People who've had a baby and instantly lose all of their baby weight PISS ME OFF! Eat it you genetic freaks!
I wanted to title this blog THE SHAPE OF A MOTHER but it was already taken and I absolutely appreciate the site, so I couldn't do that. I know that I'm currently overweight, but I HAD A BABY, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?
I had my son Connor 2 months ago on Feb 18th, 2008. I had a emergency c-section so needless to say, I wasn't able to do anything (physically) for 6 weeks. Then, 6 weeks to the day, I had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder after a 6 day stay in the hospital with an inflamed liver & pancreas. I am JUST NOW able to resume normal activities from that surgery.
Let me tell you, it has been an experience I will never forget, nor one that I care to repeat.
So, here we are...
Pre-pregnancy weight: 154 lbs
Highest pregnancy weight: 190 lbs
Goal Weight: (short term) 150lbs (long term) 130 lbs
Current weight: 170 lbs
Total gain/loss: -20 lbs
Here is the little guy who made being a little fatter than I'd like a little more bearable
Before:
Currently: Me, with Connor (I'll get better "Before & After" pics later)
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